5 Signs You Now Live in Europe

1. Despite the fact you grew up in Texas, land of 106 degree summers, the sight of 85 on your weather forecast  scares the shit out of you.  Not only is your apartment air conditioning frei, but also every other establishment you could dream up. Enough air conditioning to keep the chocolate from melting in the stores? Nonsense. 

2. One of your new German friends comments on how much room you have in your apartment. Your apartment is approximately 200 square feet. Your dorm room in college was the same size. 

3. Instead of complaining about the distance you must walk from your car to the store entrance, you are now having smug thoughts about how tone your arms, legs, and, everything else are going to be from all this bicycle riding, and grocery carrying, and walking. Walking is inescapable and therefore must be embraced.

4. You’ve fully bought into the cult of bread. The first few weeks saw you holding onto your ridiculous American food justifications and reminding yourself that it was ok to eat bread all the time because of all the aforementioned walking. However, you now realize that, yes, bread IS nature, and hell yes, bread IS life,  and why haven’t you been eating this much of it your entire life?

5. Similarly, you now realize butter is not to be feared, but wholly accepted as a food group. Why not slather your bread with butter before topping it with cheese? Why not have 10 different types of butter keks in the store? Why not add 100 grams of it to a cups worth of sauce? The summers are hot, the winters are long, and the sun rarely shines. Therefore, you will now make your own little bit of happy with butter. 

If you or a loved one exhibit any or all of the symptoms listed above, you may be suffering from American Expatriate Syndrome. 


2 thoughts on “5 Signs You Now Live in Europe

  1. Pingback: 5 Signs You Now Live In Europe | The Independent Womanist

  2. Hilarious! Glad to see it hasn’t gotten the best of you or your sense of humor! Now that’s a bonafide Texas gal for ya!

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